I suffered from depression with thoughts that bombarded me to commit suicide, but first, I would kill my two sons then myself. This was how messed up I was. I was an alcoholic and suffered from grudges, insomnia, nightmares and many other problems. I even used to think that I was going mad.
The inner turmoil escalated after my marriage. I come from an alcoholic background, natural for me to turn to alcohol when problems occurred, so I could block out the thoughts in my head.
Even though I started having problems with my liver, I couldn’t give up alcohol no matter how hard I tried. I was addicted. I drank every day and went to work stale-drunk most days, and it’s funny how, at that time, I was even working in a residential alcohol rehabilitation centre.
In my search for help, I went to everyone who claimed they could help people overcome their problems, and even went abroad to three different countries because I wanted to be free from my addiction and the problems that I faced – but I didn’t yet know about the ACT meetings. Over the years, I had spent tens of thousands of pounds in pursue for help.
Nevertheless, help found me first. Chris, my son’s girlfriend at the time and my son, knew about the HelpCentre and although they had invited me many times surprisingly, even though I knew I needed help, I always refused. However, something happened one day, which compelled me to attend.
After the prayer at that first meeting, it was as though a very heavy coat had been taken from my shoulders. On the five-minute walk from the meeting to my home, I noticed that something inside me had changed and the only word to describe that change in me was peace. That night, I slept soundly for the first time in several years.
After this experience, I started attended the meetings regularly with peace and newfound joy, I was helped and learnt how to use my faith, and how to overcome my problems. I was given practical advice for my spiritual and physical wellbeing. Things didn’t take long to change for me because of my willingness, and yes, my desire to drink alcohol disappeared.
This opportunity that I had is available for all. The ACT meetings can really make the difference!