What to do when your children face problems

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What to do when your children face problems

One of the most difficult things we mothers have to face is witnessing our children go through a hard time. Our maternal instincts kick in and we want to spare and protect them. But, unfortunately, difficulties come to everyone. So, how can you as a mother deal with your children’s problems?

Compassion vs. sorrow

Ruling out indifference, we find that there are two ways we mothers can react when our children face problems – we can either feel sorrow or compassion towards them. What is the difference?

Sorrow is a feeling of deep distress caused by misfortune, and compassion is a feeling of deep sympathy for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering. What makes them different is sorrow is just a feeling, but compassion makes you want to take action against the problem.

Be compassionate 

We mothers generally have a sixth sense when it comes to our children and this intuition can often alert us that something is wrong, without them needing to say a word. What should you do when you detect a problem?

Times like these call for action. First of all, you should remain objective to understand what their problem is, without allowing your feelings to cloud your judgement. Practising the communication skills we taught you will come in handy, should you need to have a conversation with your child about what’s going on.

Don’t take over 

Once you’ve identified the problem fully, the next step is to figure out how you can help your child, without taking over. Remember, you still want to teach them to be independent, so you don’t want to solve problems for them, but guide them to solve their own problems under your careful watch.

There are situations, in which you’ll be able to help, guide or support them, but there are others in which you will not be able to do anything about their problem. In cases like these, you can help them through your prayers and being next to them.

And is this act of faith and love that the mothers are putting in practice this week, we are going to do something to help our children instead of lamenting.

Need support? Let us help you. Contact us on rahab@uckgnew.org or call our 24H helpline on 020 7686 6000.

Mrs. Claudia Brito

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