Some women look for sensitive men, others have pride in saying they are sensitive. But if we analyse the definition of the word “sensitive”, we’ll come to the conclusion that being sensitive can be both positive and negative at the same time – which should alert us immediately.
Women can be very sensitive once in a while, perhaps because of a comment made, something that didn’t go as planned, or simply because she’s on “those days”, in which life seems so unfair. There is nothing wrong with being sensitive towards good things in life, for example, the needs of our family members. Most of the time they don’t say it, but they are in need of love, care, attention, and so forth. If we are not sensitive towards their needs, we won’t end up doing what needs to be done to help them – no matter how hard we try.
So, sometimes, there are situations in life that require sensitivity from our part, especially from us women. However, in regards to problems, our attitude should be completely different. We cannot overcome a problem reacting in a sensitive way! Problems are persistent situations that cause us extreme discomfort; they can be diseases, teen problems, addictions, etc. Every time we deal with our problems with a sensitive heart, we feel sorry for ourselves. This is called self-pity, and it’s one of the worst characteristics of a sensitive person.
We want others to sympathise with our situation. And when it doesn’t happen, we feel even worse. We get the feeling that no one understands us, no one loves us; that we don’t have value – the list of negative thoughts is unending, so, we take the next step – we begin to complain. It is exactly as what the Bible says in Proverbs 27:15:
“A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike”.
Some are so advanced in the arts of complaining that that it’s no surprise they are isolated. Who can deal with this type of attitude? Self-pity blinds us. It doesn’t let us see what is causing the problem and how to deal with it. On the contrary, it makes us blame ourselves and others, which obviously doesn’t not solve anything.
It’s sad to see how many women don’t understand this. Women of all ages, young and old, who simply don’t recognise how wrong they are in being sensitive when a situation asks for the opposite: being insensitive, resistant, severe and the like. Weaknesses, mistakes, injustices and problems require a severe attitude, which means that we have to be strong (without seeking the sympathy of others) and always in the faith.
How can a person use their faith while they have self-pity towards their problems? It’s impossible! The women who bled for 12 years heard of Jesus’ miracles and believed. She didn’t even care about the fact that she would have to walk under the sun with all the clothing around her waist. All she wanted was to be healed. She said in Mark 5:28:
“If only I may touch His garments, I shall be made well.”
Many of us would have stayed at home waiting for the pastor to visit us, and if that6 didn’t happen, then they would complain to the bishop. When that woman touched the Lord Jesus’ clothes, she was immediately healed. Notice that she didn’t need a counselling session for this to happen; she didn’t complain when she was pushed around by other people who also wanted Jesus – to be honest, she didn’t even ask for His attention! That women used intelligent faith. She was tired of being a victim for 12 years – she decided to be insensitive, and this way she managed to use her faith to be completely healed. What about you? How long will you keep pitying yourself?
(Excerpt from my first book “Better than a New Pair of Shoes”, available on Christian Books Plus and your local UCKG HelpCentre.)