The key to understanding what love is

Relationships are tricky; committing to someone often scares people, and sometimes people confuse being scared with not being with the right person.

It’s normal to be scared or nervous about making a long-term commitment, even if it is with the person you love.

The thing is that, with time, love evolves. In the beginning it’s all fun and passion, but this doesn’t last forever. With time, as the relationship develops, passion turns into routines, children… the monotony of daily life takes over, which is why some people feel love has left their relationship. It’s hasn’t left;; it’s still there but different. As couples get older, it’s more about companionship. Think about the elderly couples you see. You can see they love each other dearly, even if they’re not all over each other all the time. They are just happy with each other’s company.

The problem arises when both partners aren’t on the same page. When this happens, communication is key. It is important you talk to your partner; tell them how you are feeling. A marriage or relationship with no communication will most likely end up in divorce, or one of the people will stray, looking for what is missing somewhere else.

According to Psychology Today, rates of reported infidelity hover around 10 to 13% across adulthood, with a peak of 20% occurring for couples in their 40s. The reasons for straying also vary, depending on what is lacking in the relationship. Although it is a common belief that people who have affairs are only looking for carnal satisfaction, some people are just looking for emotional validation or emotional satisfaction because they feel that they are lacking a connection to their primary partner.

As long as the reason for wanting to leave your partner isn’t because they are physically or psychologically violent towards you, it is possible to change. A relationship won’t be an easy ride, but make sure you wisely choose the partner you want to catch all the bumps in the road with.

In order to obtain the necessary knowledge to choose the right person for you, or to help yourself and your partner to reach the quality in your relationship that you dream of, you need to learn from people who have gone through the rough but came out on top. No amount of theory or study will ever be more valuable than experience and achievement. The UCKG promotes the Love Therapy, where experienced couples pass on their knowledge unto those willing to learn and put the teachings into practise. Don’t miss it if you truly want to identify the things that you could be doing right. The Love Therapy happens every Thursday 8pm at the Rainbow Theatre, 232, Seven Sisters Road, London, N4 3NX.

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