- Case Studies
Relationships have many ups and downs, but no relationship can ever be perfect. If that was to happen, you would not grow or develop. We all have habits and tendencies we need to improve on. However, this is not a bad thing, as you will be able to learn, grow and experience great lessons in your relationship.
“Hollywood often portrays this image of perfect relationships but this can be very dangerous.” – Arabella Russell
2. You have to change your appearance in order to find love
Have you heard the phrase: ‘Love yourself before you find someone to love’? As cheesy as it may sound, it is very true. You should not change the way you look, talk and behave in the hope of finding the love of your life because then you are rejecting your true self just to garner attention from someone. If you want to find true love, love yourself and increase your self-esteem. But only do this for yourself. Being insecure about yourself in a relationship is very damaging and can sometimes lead to separation.
“If you don’t have a good relationship with yourself, this can cause all sorts of issues, and we see evidence of this in the counselling room every day.” – Arabella Russell
3. Arguments lead to break-ups and happy couples do not argue
This is very unrealistic and untrue. Sometimes, disagreements will occur in a relationship; however, this does not mean that it is over. Even though you and your partner are compatible, you will still have moments when you disagree, as you both have different characters that can sometimes clash.
Having disagreements gives couples a chance to find a solution and learn to compromise with each other. Being able to do this is a great learning curve for any relationship.
“Arguing is a form of communication … finding a compromise, and getting to a place where you understand somebody’s position even if you don’t agree with it are all positive signs.” – Arabella Russell
4. Relationships do not require work
The moment you stop investing in your relationship is the moment when things will start to go south!
“Hollywood sells us this image that work stops once you’re with someone, that it’s all plain sailing, and it’s not. Living with another person and managing your differences, children, job changes, house moves, that’s not going to be easy, but it doesn’t mean the relationship isn’t right for you. In fact, if your relationship doesn’t change, it’s not growing.” –Arabella Rusell
5. Love is only interesting when you are in your twenties/ thirties
In Hollywood, getting older is perceived as something depressing, especially when it comes to love. But this could not be further from the truth.
“A relationship that has gone on for years and has gone through difficult times can feel amazing because you know each other better and have overcome so much. Love is not the domain of the young and can happen at any time.”– Arabella Russell
6. The one
This may be one of the most strongly believed myths that still exist today. This idea that we have a soulmate we have not met yet can be very dangerous for two reasons. The first is that if your first love dies, it means that there is no one else suited to you and you have to be alone for the rest of your life. The second reason is that it can cause a person to be doubtful in their own relationship. Since they have an idea of who ‘the one’ could be, they start to doubt that they are with the right person and end the relationship for the wrong reasons.
“That right person only becomes the one through living with them, experiencing them and building a relationship with them.” – Arabella Russell
By debunking these myths, you are giving yourself the opportunity to experience a successful relationship. However, there are many other things that need to be learnt in order to keep a successful relationship going. (Remember myth four!) That’s why we have the Love Talk Live seminar every Thursday at the UCKG HelpCentre. These seminars provide tips and advice on how to improve and grow together in your relationship. Not only are these seminars for couples, they are also for the singletons who want to know the dos and don’ts of love. Join us every Thursday at 8pm for these very special meetings!
Event: Love Talk Live Seminar
Location: Rainbow Theatre, 232-238 Seven Sisters Rd, Finsbury Park, N4 3NX