Putting an end to my addiction

addiction to pornography, desire to be free, drug policy, smoking weed,


Putting an end to my addictionI was always the type of person to accept other people’s custom. So when I was around those who drank, I would drink too. However, I was never fond of smoking, but when I studied abroad in Holland, a country that is famous for having a liberal drug policy, I began to smoke weed every day, despite the fact I wasn’t a cigarette smoker. When I returned to the UK, I tried to continue this habit, but the environment was different so I gave it up.

Yet, one habit that I couldn’t shake off was pronography. I had been addicted ever since I was 13 years old, after finding an inapropiate magazine. My addiction then escalated to online videos as Internet access became easier. Porn addicts live through a cycle: pleasure when watching porn, then shame afterwards. I would feel ashamed with doing such thing, so my addiction to pornography was something very private, unlike drinking or smoking weed.

As I got older I wanted to stop, and I tried to not watch porn for a couple of days. I would start off well, but idle moments would draw me back. It wasn’t easy to quit porn—it had formed a big part of my daily routine for years.

When I came to the HelpCentre the meetings I would attend made me reflect on the way I was living my life. Similarly to the ACT meetings, I started to attend the meetings within the HelpCentre, which could help me break from my addiction.

Through the desire to be free, something would happen inside of me when I attended the meeting and I was soon completely free from my addiction to pornography.

Today, I am no longer addicted. I decided to quit my addiction to pornography, and I am now happily married and faithful to my wife in public and in private.

Duncan Muchira