Putting an end to my addiction

addiction to pornography, desire to be free, drug policy, smoking weed, the way I was living my life,


Putting an end to my addictionI was always the type of person to accept other people’s custom. So when I was around those who drank, I would drink too. However, I was never fond of smoking, but when I studied abroad in Holland, a country that is famous for having a liberal drug policy, I began to smoke weed every day, despite the fact I wasn’t a cigarette smoker. When I returned to the UK, I tried to continue this habit, but the environment was different so I gave it up.

Yet, one habit that I couldn’t shake off was pronography. I had been addicted ever since I was 13 years old, after finding an inapropiate magazine. My addiction then escalated to online videos as Internet access became easier. Porn addicts live through a cycle: pleasure when watching porn, then shame afterwards. I would feel ashamed with doing such thing, so my addiction to pornography was something very private, unlike drinking or smoking weed.

As I got older I wanted to stop, and I tried to not watch porn for a couple of days. I would start off well, but idle moments would draw me back. It wasn’t easy to quit porn—it had formed a big part of my daily routine for years.

When I came to the HelpCentre the meetings I would attend made me reflect on the way I was living my life. Similarly to the ACT meetings, I started to attend the meetings within the HelpCentre, which could help me break from my addiction.

Through the desire to be free, something would happen inside of me when I attended the meeting and I was soon completely free from my addiction to pornography.

Today, I am no longer addicted. I decided to quit my addiction to pornography, and I am now happily married and faithful to my wife in public and in private.

Duncan Muchira