Understanding your partner

Child, Child abuse, Child care, Cost of raising a child, learn to communicate, love and affection, Parent, something like this,

cryingbaby

If something made you cry when you were a child, your experience was probably a little something like this:

If you were a boy: you would cry, then go to your parents for some comfort, and would hear something along the lines of: โ€œStop crying! Youโ€™re a man! Men donโ€™t cry. Stop crying now.โ€

If you were a girl: you would cry, then go to your parents for some comfort, and would hear something along the lines of: โ€œAw. What happened sweetie? Come here and tell me all about itโ€ฆโ€ You would be cuddled and showered with love and affection until you had stopped crying.

Now, you are an adult and you are married. But what you probably donโ€™t know is that the same child is still there inside you. What does this mean for your marriage?

If youโ€™re a man: Your wife happens to be upset or stressed out about something. She comes over to speak about something thatโ€™s on her mind, expecting to find a shoulder to lean on. What do you give her instead? The same treatment you got from your parents as a child. And worse: you accuse her of being weak.

If youโ€™re a woman: Your husband comes home stressed out or angry. You want to help him, so you offer the same treatment you would receive as a child: โ€œHoney, what happened? Is something wrong? Talk to me!โ€ But he comes out with the classic line: โ€œEverything is fine.โ€ And you feel isolated from his world.

Do you still wonder why men and women donโ€™t understand each other?

The solution begins when you recognise these differences between genders. Then learn to communicate in a more effective way with your partner.

Men, you can step up and adopt a fatherly role when your wife is having one of her emotional phases. โ€œCome here, let me give you a hugโ€ฆ everything is going to be OK.โ€

Women, you can learn to give your husband more space, understanding that ever since he was a boy, he has learnt to deal with things by himself. He views anything else as weakness.

1 WhatsApp-Us-logo-copy