Have you ever been in a relationship where you placed the other person above everything else — your friends, your family, even yourself? It’s easy to do, isn’t it? When you love someone, they can become your whole world.
This was the exact topic addressed by Bishop James Marques and his wife, Helena, during a recent Love Therapy seminar at the Cathedral of Miracles. They explained how one of the main causes of imbalance in relationships, whether you’re single or married is when people take the place that belongs to God.
To illustrate this, they took us right back to the beginning to Adam and Eve. God gave them one simple instruction: “…Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat…” (Genesis 2:16–17) But Eve disobeyed. When Adam discovered what she had done, he chose her over obedience. He didn’t want to be separated from her, so he disobeyed God too.
That moment was the very first example of someone placing another person above God.
Adam’s choice still reflects what many of us do today — loving someone more than God. Everything we put in God’s place will eventually bring us pain. Eve was a gift, but Adam made the mistake of loving the gift more than the Giver.
We see this same pattern play out in our own lives. It is part of human nature to search for fulfilment in people. We all want to feel loved and wanted. But when you love someone more than God, you will do almost anything for them even if it means compromising your faith.
Maybe you’ve stopped coming to church because your partner doesn’t want to. Maybe you’ve held onto grudges instead of forgiving. Over time, that person begins to occupy the space in your heart that belongs to God.
This happens both to singles and to those who are married. For singles, it might look like accepting any relationship out of fear of being alone, convincing themselves that, “God understands my needs.” But in reality, they’re compromising their faith.
For married couples, the problem occurs when the spouse becomes their entire world. The result? Insecurity, jealousy, frustration, all because the partner sits on a throne that should belong to God.
The Bible gives us a clear antidote to this imbalance. In Matthew 22:37–39, Jesus said: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’”
That’s the perfect order of love: God first, then yourself, and then your spouse (or others).
Only when you love yourself in a balanced, godly way can you truly love others in a healthy way. Loving yourself isn’t selfish, it’s understanding the value God has given you. When you see yourself through His eyes, you don’t let anyone treat you as less than what you are worth.
But when this order is reversed, pain always follows. If someone’s opinion matters more than God’s, their words can easily hurt you. That often happens because we’ve given them too much power — a place that belongs only to God. From this imbalance come jealousy, anger, and low self-esteem.
The good news is that when you truly understand God’s love for you, everything changes. You are free to love others without losing yourself in the process.
When God is first, your relationship becomes a reflection of paradise. A marriage grounded in His love is like a small taste of heaven — peaceful, joyful, and full of harmony.
So, if you’re ready to transform your love life, come along to the Love Therapy Seminars, every Thursday at 8pm. It might just be the evening that helps you put love back into the right order.
Event: The Love Therapy Seminars
Day and time: Every Thursday at 8pm
Location: The Cathedral of Miracles, Rainbow Theatre, 232 Seven Sisters Road, Finsbury Park, London, N4 3NX (outside London via conference)
