7 years of plenty copy

Evelyn began to experience deep sadness at the age of 13 years old. This was a result of a skin condition she was facing at the time. From her neck down to her ankles, Eczema took over her whole body. It was not only causing a lot of complexes, but also physical pain to the point she was not even able to sleep she was in that much agony! The simple task of just walking around would become difficult as her skin would tear apart and start to bleed.

Now 22 years old, Evelyn explains that I had asthma too, so I started to question why am I the only one in my family to face this?

For this reason, I caused a lot of problems at home. I would outwardly express my inner feelings in the form of smashing and breaking the items around the house. I had an uncontrollable anger inside of me and would often use my two sisters as my punching bag. This instigated fear within my mother which would trigger tears because she did not know how to help me.

Why I am copy

I began to think how could I stop this internal darkness of feeling so void and empty.

I would self-harm as it gave me a sense of control over my life. I tried drinking bleach and got a wire to hang myself, but my mother stopped me. I would search Google for painless ways to die. I started taking tablets in the hopes to overdose and ended up in hospital. The doctor referred me to CAMHS for therapy sessions. I started therapy with high expectations that I would finally find a solution to my problems, but the more I attended, the more I realised that my life remained the same.  

This is when the idea came to sell my soul. I heard of celebrities doing it and I believed this would be a quick solution in order to attain my healing through making a pact with the devil. After completing a few of the steps to sell my soul, I started to hear voices and feeling strange things happening around me but nothing was there, this is when I understood that the devil was real. I was petrified – this was the worst moment of my life! I then realised if I could hear the voices of demons, I should be able to hear God’s voice too and this made me want to fight to know God.

My turning point copy

The turning point happened three days later when I was approached by two people in Wood Green, London and was invited to attend the Universal Church.

I started attending the Friday service which was for deliverance. I understood that there was a root behind the problems I were facing but the seven years of trying to find a solution outweighed any hope or belief that things would change for me.

Yet, I kept attending the services I would fast and pray constantly fighting to see a change in my skin condition. But when I shifted my focus to really investing in my relationship with God I had no desire to continually pray for my health. The more I came to the church, the deep sadness disappeared. Sometime after, I didn’t even notice I no longer needed my inhaler and as time went by my eczema started to clear up too.

After 2 years of attending the church, there is no more fighting, arguing and the desire to smash and break things at home. We spend time together as a family. I do not have negative thoughts, low self-esteem or the desire to sell my soul. I am no longer void or empty.

Evelyn Fagbemi

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