A state of being depressed marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty with thinking and concentration; a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness; and, sometimes, suicidal thoughts or an attempt to commit suicide.
“I heard them every single day. They never stopped talking, asking questions, giving opinions, shouting, murmuring… I didn’t want to hear them. I didn’t want them there. But they never went away. Day in day out they were there, whispering in my ear, speaking in my mind. The voices in my head became my living hell. They blurred every reality that I knew and left me ostracised from everyone: family, friends, everyone. Because of this, I sank into depression. Constantly being told you’re crazy would do that to you. When the City News from the UCKG HelpCentre came through my door, it was the light at the end of a very dark tunnel. I started attending the deliverance meetings on Fridays and through many prayers I noticed that the voices were gone and consequently I was free from depression. I was reintegrated into society, I went back to studying and things are going well.”
– Pamela Carolan, Stamford Hill
Fits of rage
One moment you are fine and smiling, the next moment intense anger consumes you over the smallest thing and you are unable to control yourself. Fits like these encompass violent actions and movements.
“I grew up in a very violent home and I witnessed a lot of anger. This anger was passed on to me which lead me to get involved in a lot of fights. I always blamed my dad because in my mind he was the cause of all the anger. When I came to the UK, my life went from bad to worse. Coming from a broken home, full of anger, hatred, grudges and double personalities, I became involved in the gang life and I would also sleep around with different girls. But I was never happy with who I was. It was not until I came to the UCKG HelpCentre that my life completely changed. Today I am no longer in disarray, nor am I another negative statistic. I let go of all the anger, grudges and hatred and I don’t need things or girls to make me happy because I have peace and true happiness within me.”
– Emiliano El-jaghaoui, Finsbury Park
This could range from hurt to betrayed, lack of trust, constant disagreements, money issues and so on. The person involved feels disconnected from his or her partner and often looks for that bond in another person.
I had been through a lot of heartache in my love life, so in a bid to protect myself, I surrounded myself with an emotional defence. I knew what I was looking for in a partner and if a potential man didn’t meet my criteria and prove his suitability, I wouldn’t even consider him. I started attending the UCKG HelpCentre because my way of doing things hadn’t produced any results. I learnt some hard truths and although it was difficult to admit, I knew I was being unreasonable in my approach and my rigidity would cost me love. How could I ever find the man of my dreams if I was hiding behind barriers? Although I knew the theory, changing my way of thinking was more challenging than I had anticipated. I found my match in Adrian and I am pleased to say that today we are happily married.
– Kalema White, Edmonton
Suicidal/negative thoughts are thoughts about how to kill oneself, which can range from a detailed plan to a fleeting consideration and do not include the final act of killing oneself. The majority of people who experience suicidal ideation do not carry it through. Some may, however, make suicide attempts. Some suicidal ideations can be deliberately planned to fail or be discovered, while others might be carefully planned to succeed. This negative thought can stem from depression due to problems or traumas a person may be facing.
“My mum and dad had a very futile relationship, which led to their breakup. Though I had a twin sister, there were divisions in the house because each one of us favoured a different parent. I despised my mum and had nightmares of her killing my father. I thought she was evil and didn’t want her close to me. In secondary school, I was bullied. Having no one to turn to and being constantly bombarded by negative thoughts, I attempted suicide. I took an overdose of drugs at the age of 14, but luckily I was found in time. Coming to the UCKG HelpCentre, I received help through spiritual advice and prayers and today I have a new lease in life! I have learnt to deal with negative thoughts so that they no longer control me. I am in control! I am happy and looking ahead to my future.”
– Stacey Matjeke, Luton
Generally, a panic attack happens as a result of extremely heightened anxiety and fear. They can come on very suddenly and have no obvious triggers. Although a panic attack episode may appear at random, they come from our evolutionary response to danger. Having a panic attack is said to be one of the most intensely frightening, upsetting and uncomfortable experiences in a person’s life. The person suffering from it may have difficulty breathing and their desire is to hide away.
“Having panic attacks were just one of the many problems I suffered with. It was unbearable living like this, always in constant fear. At any moment I would have an attack and all logic and reason I had would shut down. I tried counsellors and helplines to solve my problem but nothing worked. I continued like this for years until I came across the HelpCentre. There I engaged in Chains of Prayers and through perseverance I became free from the attacks that once enslaved me.”
– Chris Boodram, Finsbury Park
Sensing evil around you
The feeling that you are not alone even though it is clear that you are the only one in the room or on the streets. There is an unease that you feel. As if there is a presence following you — you cannot see it or hear it, but you know it’s there.
“For years I suffered with attacks at night where I would scream in horror wanting to wake up! I would literally fight off this unseen presence but would lose every time, though there was no one in my room! For 19 years, I suffered from this! The most terrifying time being when I woke up with black marks on my arms that were not there when I went to bed. I came to the UCKG HelpCentre because I wanted these terrors to stop. There, I received prayers and took part in Chains of Prayer on Fridays for my spiritual deliverance. After attending a few meetings, I noticed that I was able to sleep better and better and I haven’t had an attack since.”
– Severina de Abreu, Finsbury Park
Fear of death
Constantly feeling as if death is knocking on your door. You are surrounded by so many deaths that you think you could be next. Though you are not sick, you feel as if you could die at any moment and so you live a very cautious life, never trying anything new. The sufferer often hides himself or herself away in an attempt to stay alive.
“As a child, I could never sleep in the dark. There always had to be a crack of light shining or one of my siblings had to be at my bedside until I fell asleep. This was because I feared death; I felt vulnerable alone in the dark and wanted someone to protect me. There’d even be times that I woke up in heavy sweats due to having a dream that I had died. This all began to change when I started attending the HelpCentre and specifically the Friday services. Learning about what happens after death for those who give their lives to God, I was able to overcome this fear and now, as I understand, I longer worry.”
– Ashanta Charm, Catford
Feeling that you are ‘unlucky in love’
Where there is a cycle of one fail relationship after another. These relationship may involve adultery, abuse whether verbal, emotional or physical. Those involved in such relationships are often left with scars and traumas from them and tend to believe that they are unlucky in love and destined to be alone.
“Coming from a bad upbringing, where my dad would often become aggressive, I later found myself in a relationship where my boyfriend Christian constantly cheated on me. He would have multiple girls behind my back and had no remorse.”
– Raygeli Velasquez, Holland
“I would tell the other girls that I was committed to Raygeli and wasn’t willing to leave her, but this didn’t stop me from being unfaithful. I had witness my parents divorce and saw how it destroyed my family, but though I wanted to be true to Raygeli, I had no control over myself. Coming to the UCKG HelpCentre, we received a new direction on how to build a better relationship together by working on our individual characters through the one-to-one advice sessions and prayers. We made many purposes of faith and, seeing how I was destroying our relationship, through the help of God I let go of my shameful ways and we have gone on to build a happy marriage together for 10 years.”
– Christian Velasquez, Holland
This could range from abuse to adultery, addiction, lack of trust, constant disagreements, money issues and so on. The person involved feels disconnected from his or her partner and often looks for that bond in another person.
“I was a nightmare as a husband! I instilled fear in my wife because I believed she was my property. Whenever she would do something I didn’t like, I would beat her as if I was fighting a man. I was possessive. Every hour of her day had to be accounted for, or else… Things got particularly out of hand one night that I put a gun to her head because I didn’t like the way she responded to me. She left me and I later came to the UCKG HelpCentre, where I got help with my anger problems. Through the messages, prayers and spiritual advice, I have been a changed man for over 12 years and we are so happy — thank God for the UCKG HelpCentre.”
– Ignatious Hango, Finsbury Park
You work hard but you never seem to have enough money, as if you had holes in your pockets. Things in your house constantly need repair and you are in debt.
“When I was younger, my family never had a lot of money. We had enough to buy the necessities, but not to go out or buy the clothes we wanted. I never went abroad and the closest I got to a holiday was driving the family caravan to the sea. Living in financial ruin like this made me withdrawn with low self-esteem because I didn’t want people to know what was going on. However things started to turn around when I was invited to the UCKG HelpCentre. I started to attend on Fridays for my self-esteem and Mondays for my finances, but I didn’t see changes straightaway. The low self-esteem started to go away and, as I continued attending the HelpCentre, I felt stronger and more confident to go for jobs in big companies. Today I work for a global advertising and brand research company. I feel free and the best part is that now I can buy what I want with no restrictions.”
– Mary Danquah, Edmonton
Addiction is the continued use of a mood altering substance or behaviour despite consequences. People with an addiction do not have control over what they are doing, taking or using. Their addiction may reach a point at which it is harmful. Addictions do not only include physical things we consume, such as drugs or alcohol, but may include virtually anything, such abstract things as gambling to seemingly harmless products, such as chocolate — in other words, addiction may refer to a substance dependence (e.g. drug addiction) or behavioural addiction (e.g. gambling addiction).
“I was exposed to sex at the very young age of five. I remember finding a magazine at home filled with sexual content and that was when the idea was formed in me. I was fascinated with it and wanted to know more. From then on, I was sexually active, sleeping with both males and females every chance I got. I thought that was normal and so I kept doing it. No one knew and I never spoke out about it. At the age of 10/11, I got addicted to pornography and masturbation. I would stay up late in the night to watch the dirty movies on TV. This went on for quite some time and, feeling disgusted with myself, I later found the UCKG HelpCentre. With one-to-one help from the youth pastor and taking part in Chains of Prayer on Fridays for my deliverance, I was able to break this addiction. I stopped watching the dirty movies and masturbating. Today there is a big difference between who I was and who I am.”
– Sandy Lewis, Hackney