365 Days to Change My Life

different kinds of people, emptiness,

 

โ€œI remember that day as if it were yesterday. It was 31 December 2022. I left home around 7pm, smoked a cigarette and got in the car. I was very apprehensive because, for the first time, I was going to a New Yearโ€™s Eve event at a church.365 Days to Change My Life

โ€œNormally, I would see in the New Year at a club, so I was totally out of my comfort zone but something was telling me that it was the right thing to do. After all, all those parties and drinks couldnโ€™t fill the emptiness I had inside.

โ€œMy problems started when I was still a child. There was a war going on in my home country โ€“ Mozambique โ€“ so when I was only five years old, my family had to flee the country. We ended up in a refugee camp in Swaziland, where we stayed for ten long years. When we finally left the camp and moved to Europe, I believed things would get better, but soon my hope vanished: after a couple of months, my brother lost his life in a motorbike accident and shortly after, my mum also passed away. Even though I still had my father and other family members, I felt alone without my mum to guide me.

Sara-Antonio-Before.1โ€œThinking I was now all grown up and knew everything, I started clubbing, drinking, smoking and getting involved with different guys. Then, at 19 I met someone who I thought was my soul mate. We were getting along well at first, but as time passed he became very jealous and we started having many arguments. I thought that having a child together would bring us closer and restore our relationship, but how wrong I was! When my son was born, things worsened.

โ€œI started taking drugs as a way to escape my problems, but as soon as that temporary โ€˜fixโ€™ wore off, I was back to that sad reality. Eventually, I decided to end the relationshipSara-Antonio-Before and move with my son to the UK. Although I was now in a different country, it was the same old story: I got into another problematic relationship, in which I had two daughters. By the time it all fell apart, I was left a single mum of three.

โ€œIt was hard raising my children by myself, but being a strong and determined woman, soon I was working, earning my own money and putting my life back on track. On the outside things were moving forward but inside, I was still broken. My nights out only numbed my inner pain for a short period. When I lay down on my pillow, all that emptiness would return.

โ€œOne day, a work colleague noticed that I wasnโ€™t well and said, โ€˜Thereโ€™s a place where you can receive spiritual help for your problems.โ€™ That place was the Universal Church, but I refused her invitation. Deep down, at the time I didnโ€™t accept that I needed help. I was a successful independent, free woman!

โ€œThe reality was that I was not free at all โ€“ I was enslaved by my negative habits and inner problems โ€“ but I couldnโ€™t see it back then. For nine years I kept believing my own lie that everything was fine but my inner void had just grown to a point that I couldnโ€™t take it anymore.

โ€œOne morning I finally understood that I needed help, so I called my friend. I burst into tears on the phone. She told me that everything was going to be fine and invited me to a meeting at the Universal Church, and this time I accepted.

โ€œI didnโ€™t know what to expect, but I felt very welcomed by the spiritual advisers at the Church. They prayed for me and when I left I felt really light, as if they took a heavy burden off me. I never felt like that before, so I decided to keep attending the services.

โ€œThe end of the year was approaching and soon I was invited to the New Yearโ€™s Eve Night Vigil and I thought, โ€˜Why not?โ€™ I always used to spend my New Yearโ€™s Eve partying and drinking, and on the first day of the new year there I was, hungover and faced with the same troubles, so I decided to try something new this time. Maybe if I did something different, I could see different results.

โ€œThe first thing that caught my attention was seeing all different kinds of people (families, youths, elderly) together and with genuine smiles on their faces. I wanted that same happiness and when I heard the pastor saying that if I was sincere with God and surrendered my heart to Him I could be truly happy, I believed.

โ€œI decided to give all my troubles to God and left the church with a joy and an inner strength that I never had before. Iโ€™m so glad that I did it because, after years of unaccomplished resolutions, 2023 was indeed a โ€˜New Year, New Me.โ€™ The cigarette I smoked on my way to the church was my last one. Somehow, I didnโ€™t feel the need for it anymore. I felt so at peace, from that day onwards I understood what was missing inside all those years was the presence of God.

โ€œI entered not only a New Year but also a new phase in my life. In each service that followed, I started learning more about who God is and how to get closer to Him. I understood the importance of forgiving those who hurt me โ€“ and also myself, for the wrong choices Iโ€™d made. I decided to leave behind everything that tied me back to my old lifestyle, including negative feelings, habits and friendships. As I surrendered all of this to God, He made me complete from the inside out.

โ€œTwelve months have passed and now Iโ€™m a better woman, a better mother, I have a blessed family and even when problems arise, Iโ€™m at peace because I know that God is with me. The emptiness I had was filled with joy and peace and today, I go out with that same friend who invited me to the church to reach out to others and let them know that things can change!โ€

Sara Antonio

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