It sounds like a contradiction, doesn’t it? “To be happy in your marriage, you must separate.” But as Bishop James Marques explained during the Love Therapy Seminar, this separation has nothing to do with breaking up with your spouse—but rather letting go of everything that hinders your relationship.
Bishop James Marques together with his wife, Helena, spoke about the very first and most important separation that marriage must undergo: the separation from your family of origin.
The Bible says in Genesis 2:24 – “…A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.”
This shift is about redefining priorities. You are recognising that your spouse is now your main family. Your parents are still important—but they no longer come first. Failing to make this change can lead to familiar conflicts many couples know all too well, such as the mother-in-law vs daughter-in-law rivalry. If you want to build a healthy and united life together, you have to emotionally and mentally “leave” the home you came from and fully commit to the one you are creating now.
There’s also the separation from single life: certain habits, friendships, and routines need to be set aside to make way for a new phase.
Marriage is about sharing everything. Time, space, finances, dreams, and that’s not always easy. You have to sacrifice. But we live in a world that says, ‘Don’t change. Be true to yourself’ and sadly, that is where many relationships fall apart.
Sometimes, it’s not outsiders who get in the way of a marriage—it’s us. Our unwillingness to adapt, compromise, or let go of behaviours that are hurting the person we love.
During the seminar, it became clear that everything that doesn’t contribute to a couple’s unity has the potential to separate them. That could be excessive time on social media, prioritising hobbies over your partner, refusing to address bad habits, or clinging to the idea that “this is just how I am.”
You need to decide: either you separate yourself from these things that are separating you, or these things will separate you both.
This principal applies just as much to your relationship with God. Walking with Him requires letting go—of your old life, your past mistakes, and your own will. But what you gain is far more valuable: peace, purpose, and a deep assurance that He is with you.
This idea of separation doesn’t mean losing your identity. Quite the opposite—it means growing into someone better, someone more equipped for a true partnership.
If you are ready to discover what has been standing between you and a fulfilling relationship and learn practical ways to overcome it—join the Love Therapy Seminar, every Thursday at the Cathedral of Miracles.
Sometimes, the key to a better “us” starts with a better you.
Event: The Love Therapy Seminars
Day and time: Every Thursday at 8pm
Location: The Cathedral of Miracles, Rainbow Theatre, 232 Seven Sisters Road, Finsbury Park, London, N4 3NX (outside London via conference)
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