You might be thinking, a to-do list for love? Isn’t that just for groceries, keeping track of errands and work tasks? But what if this simple tool could help transform your love life?
That’s exactly what Bishop James and Helena Marques spoke about in last week’s Love Therapy Seminar. They revealed how creating a clear, intentional to-do list can help us stop reacting emotionally and instead make calm, rational choices that lead to change.
Relationships can be extremely emotional. And that’s often where the trouble begins. When we’re emotionally involved with someone, we tend to solve problems emotionally too. So, we get angry, we say things we don’t mean, or we retreat and go silent. Sound familiar?
The issue is, when we react emotionally, we usually end up pointing fingers. We focus on what the other person did wrong, instead of calmly working through the issue. That’s where the to-do list comes in, it helps you deal with things practically.
Being pragmatic means saying, “Right, here’s what I’m struggling with, and here’s what we can do about it.” A list keeps you from getting lost in your feelings and helps you focus on the action you need to take. After all — feelings don’t fix problems. If anything, they can make things worse.
So, why a to-do list?
Here’s why it works so well:
Let’s say you realise you get defensive when criticised. You could write: From now on, when I’m being criticised, I will listen calmly and respond thoughtfully.
“This applies not only to couples but also to singles as well. If you notice yourself making the same mistakes in relationships, take note of them. Writing it down gives you clarity: This is what I keep doing, and this is what I will do differently next time.
The Word of God says: “Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” (James 2:17)
Faith alone isn’t enough. If you don’t make a conscious decision to act differently, you’ll find yourself going round in circles, hoping things will sort themselves out. But they won’t — not without action. When you deliberately focus on the issue and commit to tackling it in a new way, that’s when things begin to change.
If you found this tool helpful and want to discover the next one, join us for the Love Therapy Seminar today at 8pm.
Event: The Love Therapy Seminar
Day and time: Thursday 5th June at 8pm
Location: The Cathedral of Miracles, Rainbow Theatre, 232 Seven Sisters Road, Finsbury Park, London, N4 3NX (outside London via conference)
