At first glance, the distinction in this question might seem minor, but it is actually quite significant. Understanding the difference between being individuals and being individualists within a relationship reveals what it truly means to become “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24), just as the Bible teaches.
When we talk about a couple, we are referring to two individuals coming together, each with their own tastes, opinions, and life experiences. Every relationship consists of two different people and that’s perfectly normal. The key to a successful relationship lies in learning to handle those differences in a positive way.
The truth is, no couple is completely compatible. If we sometimes struggle to get along with our own children, who share our DNA, it’s only natural that we will have differences with a partner who did not grow up with us. That’s not the problem— the challenge is learning to adapt. Of course, some differences are too significant to ignore. For example, if you want children but your partner doesn’t, that is a major incompatibility. Ignoring it will only create problems later, which is why it’s so important to evaluate your compatibility before marriage.
Many people enter marriage as individualists without even realising it. They resist change and expect their partner to stay exactly as they are. But marriage requires flexibility. Being different does not mean you are incompatible. It just means you must learn to adjust for one another. That’s part of making it work.
There is also a big difference between suggesting a change for the good of the relationship and trying to turn your partner into a copy of yourself. The first strengthens love; the second destroys it. As the Bible says: “Love does not seek its own.” (1 Corinthians 13:5)
Many people marry expecting their partner to make them happy, but happiness does not come from someone else— it begins with you.
True love is about giving, not receiving. When you go out of your way to please the other person, they naturally want to reciprocate, and love becomes mutual, benefiting you both.
Understanding this can transform your relationship. That is why we invite you to join us for the Love Therapy Seminars every Thursday at 8pm, where you will learn how to strengthen your bond and grow together in love, becoming one, just as God intended.
Event: The Love Therapy Seminars
Day and time: Every Thursday at 8pm
Location: The Cathedral of Miracles, Rainbow Theatre, 232 Seven Sisters Road, Finsbury Park, London, N4 3NX (outside London via conference)
