Love may bring two people together, but what keeps them close through the years?
Affection is one of the ways love continues to be expressed in a marriage, yet it can easily be overlooked when the demands of everyday life takes over. During last week’s Love Therapy seminar, the importance of keeping affection alive was explored.
At the beginning of a relationship, affection often comes naturally. Couples make an effort to spend time together, stay in touch throughout the day and find different ways to show that they care for one another.
However, after marriage, life can become much busier. Work, children, responsibilities and daily routines can take up most of a couple’s time and attention. Without realising it, the affection that was once freely expressed can become less frequent. But marriage should not be the point where affection ends.
Affection needs to be cultivated throughout marriage, not just during the dating stage or the first years together.
The Bible gives us an interesting example through Isaac and Rebekah. Even after they were married, Isaac continued to show affection towards his wife. In Genesis 26:8, King Abimelech seeing Isaac and Rebekah in a moment of affection.
But why is this significant?
Because it shows that affection was still part of their relationship. They were not trying to impress anyone. It was a natural part of how they related to one another.
Affection does not always look like a romantic date or an elaborate surprise. Sometimes, it is as simple as holding hands, giving a hug, speaking lovingly, or simply paying attention to one another throughout the day.
This is also why intimacy begins long before a couple is alone together. It is built through everyday interactions, the way a husband and wife speak to one another, how they resolve disagreements, show respect and continue to show care.
If affection is so important, why does it become difficult for some couples to maintain?
Here are seven factors that can hinder affection within a marriage:
These issues can create barriers between husband and wife. Poor communication can leave problems unresolved. Resentment can cause a person to hold on to past hurts, while pride can prevent someone from recognising their own mistakes.
This is where forgiveness becomes essential. Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness, on the contrary, it requires strength. Many problems escalate because no one wants to take the first step to ask for forgiveness.
Tiredness and routine cannot become permanent justifications for neglecting the marriage. We always find time for what we consider a priority. When husband and wife decide to invest in each other, they strengthen their relationship and prevent emotional distance from setting in.
Affection is not only relevant to married couples. Singles are also encouraged to consider what they may be carrying from previous relationships.
Emotional wounds from the past can affect someone’s ability to receive or show affection, potentially compromising future relationships. This is why inner healing is important before beginning a new chapter. A new relationship should not be expected to repair wounds that have not yet been dealt with.
When a relationship is struggling, it can be tempting to focus on what the other person is doing wrong. But no one can transform another person through their own efforts. True change begins when each person seeks God and allows Him to work within them first.
Instead of only asking God to change your husband or wife, the prayer can become:
“Show me where I need to change.”
And when that transformation begins within, the results can start to show naturally in the way you treat the person beside you.
Whether you are married, in a relationship or single, join us this Thursday for the Love Therapy seminar and discover practical guidance to help you build healthier relationships based on God’s principles.
Event: The Love Therapy Seminar
Day and time: Thursday 20th August at 8pm
Location: The Rainbow Theatre, 232 Seven Sisters Road, Finsbury Park, London, N4 3NX (outside London via conference)
