I got my confidence back, my lowest point,
‘I was very excited to move in with my boyfriend, and then one day he hit me. Just like that! I didn’t understand it. Why would someone who said he loved me cause me so much pain and feel no remorse afterwards? I was so confused that I convinced myself it was my fault.
The beatings became daily. I lived in constant fear and was always on the edge. I cried myself to sleep every night hoping that I wouldn’t wake up. I hated my life!
I’d say my lowest point was the day his grandmother, whom I’d never met, died. He came home and took it out on me. He threw a pine table on top of me and put a knife to my stomach. I remember saying to him, “Do it! You would be doing me a big favour”, but he moved it away when I tried to push the knife into myself. That was rock bottom for me.
I turned to RAHAB, which I got to know through the Universal Church, as a last resort. I had never spoken to anyone about my situation until then, but I spoke to women there who had been in the same situation as me. I met people who wanted to help me, and for the first time I felt comfortable enough to speak out.
It was a tough job for the RAHAB advisors to get me to understand that I didn’t deserve that kind of treatment and that I wasn’t to blame. It took time for my mindset to change and for me to stop looking over my shoulder or flinching every time I heard a raised voice, but eventually I did it. I won the battle.
In time, I got my confidence back and had the strength to leave the relationship. Was I scared that he would come after me? Yes, the thought did cross my mind, but by this time my inner strength had increased, and I had the confidence and courage to walk away to a better life. That was many years ago, and I haven’t looked back since. I am happier today than I have ever been before’.