{"id":84536,"date":"2018-02-15T09:00:59","date_gmt":"2018-02-15T08:00:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/?p=84536"},"modified":"2023-04-21T11:20:44","modified_gmt":"2023-04-21T10:20:44","slug":"voce-tem-medo-de-casar","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/voce-tem-medo-de-casar\/","title":{"rendered":"Voc\u00ea tem medo de casar?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Last<\/span><\/span><\/span> year, the Italian Laura Mesi held <\/span><\/span>a wedding party to marry herself. <\/span>Dressed in white, she celebrated with 70 guests, bridesmaids and a three-tiered cake the fact that she is happily single.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

To the BBC news network, she said that if she didn’t find her “soul mate” by the age of 40, she would have her own wedding with everything she was entitled to. <\/span>“I knew I could have a fairy tale without the prince,” she told Italian newspaper La Repubblica.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Laura said she took this action as a demonstration of self-respect and acceptance of her single status. <\/span>But she revealed that this thought came after she had gone through a heartbreak: the end of a 12-year relationship.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The act of marrying oneself, called sologamy, carries no <\/span><\/span>legal and juridical<\/span><\/span><\/a> weight . <\/span>However, several people are doing the same around the world. <\/span>For them, the ceremony symbolizes self-worth, but it usually only occurs after the person has been disappointed in love.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

In 2015, Sophie Tanner held her self-wedding in the UK to make her commitment to herself official. <\/span>“That was the happiest day of my life, complete with vintage dress, my dad crying as he handed me over and dancing bridesmaids,” she told the BBC.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Some time ago, in 2000, artist Gabrielle Penabaz, from New York, did the same while trying to recover from a broken heart. <\/span>At the time, she told the local press that she had had the \u201cbest wedding <\/span><\/span>ever<\/span><\/span><\/a> \u201d.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

After the \u201cofficialization\u201d of her marital status, Gabrielle has performed in her own agency the marriage of other single people, with the right to an altar, specific clothes, cake and vows.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

The trend is so great that other agencies do the same service. <\/span>In Canada, the company Marry Yourself Vancouver (Marry Yourself Vancouver, in free translation) has as its motto the phrase: \u201cSingle is the new normal. <\/span>Celebrate your status\u201d.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Consultancy Self Marriage Ceremonies offers online courses and private counseling sessions to prepare couples for sologamy. <\/span>The service came about after the owner, Dominique Youkhehpaz, also had her solo wedding in 2011.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Who feeds the fear?<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

Currently, building a stable and lasting union is outside the plans of many people, as can be seen from the examples of those who married themselves.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

Because there is so much discredit with the institution of marriage, the number of marriages performed in Brazil has decreased considerably. <\/span>According to a survey carried out by the Brazilian Institute of Geography and Statistics (IBGE), in 2016, the country registered 1,095,535 unions \u2013 a drop of 3.7% in total marriages compared to 2015. Today there are around 60 million married, while the number of singles already exceeds 77 million.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

But why do many people not believe that marriage can work? <\/span>Most of the time, the answer is fear.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

De acordo com a psicoterapeuta e life coach Eliana Barbosa, esse receio de assumir um compromisso s\u00e9rio com algu\u00e9m pode ter v\u00e1rias causas. \u201cElas geralmente s\u00e3o origin\u00e1rias de algum problema com a uni\u00e3o dos pais, com medo de perder a liberdade, de ter de dar satisfa\u00e7\u00e3o dos seus passos para outra pessoa ou at\u00e9 ego\u00edsmo mesmo. Isso tamb\u00e9m pode vir da cria\u00e7\u00e3o. Por exemplo, muitos homens cresceram ouvindo que casamento \u00e9 pris\u00e3o. Ter esse tipo de cren\u00e7a<\/a> leva muitas pessoas a temerem ou correrem do casamento\u201d, explica.<\/p>\n

Vida completa<\/strong><\/p>\n

As frases t\u00edpicas de pessoas que n\u00e3o querem um relacionamento s\u00e9rio s\u00e3o: \u201ceu n\u00e3o acredito mais no amor\u201d, \u201ctodos os que s\u00e3o decentes j\u00e1 est\u00e3o casados\u201d, \u201cestou priorizando minha vida profissional\u201d, ou a famosa express\u00e3o: \u201cantes s\u00f3 do que mal acompanhado\u201d. De fato, se a pessoa conviveu com algu\u00e9m que lhe prejudicou, como ocorre em um relacionamento abusivo, por exemplo, \u00e9 melhor que ela termine a rela\u00e7\u00e3o e fique s\u00f3 temporariamente. No entanto, por que ela deve optar em ficar sem companhia se, em vez disso, pode buscar estar bem acompanhada?<\/p>\n

O educador matrimonial, apresentador e escritor Renato Cardoso disse, em uma palestra da \u201cTerapia do Amor\u201d, no Templo de Salom\u00e3o, que \u00e9 da natureza humana desejar ter uma companhia. Contudo, o medo do compromisso s\u00e9rio acaba anulando esse desejo. \u201cA pessoa sente a car\u00eancia, a vontade de ter algu\u00e9m, mas uma coisa lhe diz: \u2018lembra do que aconteceu antes, de quando se frustrou?\u2019\u201d.<\/p>\n

Esse cen\u00e1rio atrai outras situa\u00e7\u00f5es negativas. \u201cPor causa dessa mistura do medo e amor, a pessoa acaba se envolvendo com o tipo de pessoa que vai machuc\u00e1-la novamente. Quando voc\u00ea tem medo de uma coisa, voc\u00ea acaba atraindo o pior e a\u00ed permanece nesse ciclo de ficar sempre sendo ferida\u201d, analisou o palestrante, que \u00e9 tamb\u00e9m co-autor dos livros Casamento Blindado e Namoro Blindado.<\/p>\n

Ent\u00e3o, para conseguir ser feliz em um relacionamento duradouro e perfeito, \u00e9 preciso que esse medo seja eliminado, tal como est\u00e1 escrito na Primeira Ep\u00edstola de Jo\u00e3o, cap\u00edtulo 4, vers\u00edculo 18:<\/p>\n

“No amor n\u00e3o existe receio; antes, o perfeito amor lan\u00e7a fora todo medo” (I Jo\u00e3o 4.18)<\/p>\n

Como fazer isso? A forma mais eficaz \u00e9 estar no Esconderijo do Alt\u00edssimo, ou seja, sob a prote\u00e7\u00e3o de Deus. \u201cEstando no Esconderijo dEle voc\u00ea tem o amor com a f\u00e9. Se a sua confian\u00e7a estiver em Deus, Ele n\u00e3o lhe desamparar\u00e1. Se pegar o que sente e colocar em Deus, Ele vai livr\u00e1-lo desse sofrimento e aben\u00e7o\u00e1-lo\u201d, afirmou.<\/p>\n

Make an assessment of everything that has been hurting your love life and stop feeding fear. <\/span>\u201cWho feeds this fear, may not miss a suitable person by your side today, but one day that lack will hit and you may regret it. <\/span>Time can be the enemy of those who think it’s not worth getting married\u201d, concludes Cardoso.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

If you too are facing problems in your love life and want to learn how to solve them, join our <\/span><\/span>Therapy of Love<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a> , which takes place every Thursday at the <\/span><\/span>Rainbow Theater<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/a> .<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

No ano passado, a italiana Laura Mesi realizou uma festa de casamento para se casar consigo mesma. Vestida de branco, ela celebrou junto a 70 convidados, madrinhas e um bolo de tr\u00eas andares o fato de estar feliz solteira.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"give_campaign_id":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[683,657],"tags":[3459,3460,3458],"class_list":["post-84536","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-internacional-news","category-noticias","tag-de-todos-os-tempos","tag-esse-tipo-de-crenca","tag-legal-e-juridico"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84536","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=84536"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84536\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":105546,"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84536\/revisions\/105546"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=84536"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=84536"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.uckg.org\/pt\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=84536"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}