Cultivating the family dream

an unexpected blow, family dinner table, love and respect,

‘How could you say that about me?’, ‘How could you do this to us?’, ‘I am not staying here if you don’t see you’re wrong!’, ‘You are unrecognisable right now!”, ‘You clearly never loved me!”, ‘If I see you in the street, I will run you over!’Cultivating the family dream

These were some of the damning remarks that graced our Christmas Eve celebrations some 18 years ago during a family holiday to St Lucia.

My family had suffered an unexpected blow over a family purchase that was meant to unite us but did the exact opposite. Imagine a boxing ring with my mum in one corner and my gran in the other, and the rest of the family as confused spectators trying to figure out how two ladies who loved each other and pulled together with such passion after my father committed suicide, were now in turmoil. It was hard!

This event caused a major rift in the family that would see my mum attempt suicide three times. This was so upsetting for all of us – we felt lost and in pain, and it seemed impossible that these two would ever find peace. We didn’t know how to resolve it, where to turn, or what to do. We were all so lost.

Coming to the UCKG was the life-changing turning point for our family unit. We decided we were going to take back the peace and unity we had lost as a family.

We had never heard any place encourage and understand how passionate we were about seeing our family enjoy life together again! Step by step, what had seemed like an impossibility, was being nurtured as a dream in our minds.

One by one, we attended, and we were being injected with positive thoughts about each other at every meeting. We had to learn how to forgive, unearth our love and respect for each other, and decide that we would all be shareholders in this dream of family unity.

It was so hard, but we were not alone! Many of our holistic advice sessions had the aim of bringing us together but often ended up in huge family arguments and fights with everyone making accusations and taking no responsibility. Was this really going to work? We doubted it could, but at the same time we had nothing more to lose! We kept attending…

Miraculously we pushed through the pain; and I can’t remember the day when things changed, but, suddenly, our family transformed from a unit full of thorns and daggers towards each other to what you can see in our family photos.

This was truly the hand of God and none of us know how He did it, but one day, my mum and gran just hugged for ages! Tears of joy filled the room and it has been one family bash after another ever since!

Many families wait until Christmas to get together and sometimes all this brings is unwanted drama! However, our family meets all year round! We are always together: taking family holidays, visiting the Ritz or Harrods for afternoon tea, or coming together around the family dinner table on Sundays.

We enjoy each other’s company because God, being the Author and Father of the family, has shown us how it is supposed to work … and it works!

We are so grateful for the guidance and patience of the advisers that we found at the UCKG.

They helped us to cultivate a family dream in the midst of the madness, and they believed when we didn’t have the strength to and held our hands to help us to find a family treasure in the midst of the traumas.

Sherene Changoo

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