He was horrible and didn’t pay any attention to me. It had been a long time since he told me how beautiful I was or looked. He stopped showing me affection, opening the door for me, giving me gifts or flowers.

He would never serve breakfast to me in bed, wouldn’t call me during the day to say he loved me anymore… and the list goes on.

Was I the only one feeling this way? I am sure that many of you can relate to what I’ve just said. And this made me think.

In my weakness, I had handed over the power to make me happy to someone else. And this isn’t fair on me or on the other person, and at the same time, it’s very dangerous because we end up losing control over our lives. Our lives stay in someone else’s hands and, because we feel needy, everything they do is a reason for us to misjudge them. We start comparing, remembering the past… and there you have it: the devil enjoying himself.

Think. Look at your life. Have you been depending on your partner to be happy? If so, this is why you’re so demanding, and this is how a relationship grows cold… It’s very dangerous!

But, Nanda, I give, give and give to him all the time. Is it too much to ask anything in return?
I agree with you. It’s not too much to ask. But he just doesn’t give! What can we do?

Are we going to start nagging so that he may open the door for us, give us flowers, affection, or pay attention to us? Ok. Then,
after all your demands, he finally does what you want. Now, do you know what your heart is going to say?

He did not do it wholeheartedly! You had to ask him to do these things. It wasn’t his initiative! And that’s when I finally understood my heart’s game and that I couldn’t win against it. We always lose against it. For us to win, we must take the heart out of the equation. We must get rid of these emotions and not give anyone the responsibility to make us happy. These thoughts are the devil’s emotional trap to make us weak, to torment us, and to destroy our relationships.

What we see in the movies does not define love between a man and a woman.

We must overcome this deception, these thoughts and weaknesses. We must be rational, and this can only be achieved when we use intelligent faith.

Nanda Bezerra

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