Insecurities – Spot The Killers


Tuesday 20th November 2012

You could say that there are two sorts of insecurities. Some are based on hard facts. Others – at least at first glance – seem quite trivial by comparison, self indulgent, perhaps? However there is a distinct possibility that apparently ‘normal’ or trivial insecurities can seriously limit our lives if they are not exposed as the frauds they are.

So let’s look at the different sorts of insecurities. People living in Gaza, Israel and Syria have every reason to feel insecure right now. Many have died; millions are at risk. Virtually everyone will be praying according to their beliefs for their personal safety and for peace.

Here in the UK, numerous young families are experiencing insecurities as a result of not having enough money. Do we pay the rent or the electric first? The children have to have enough to eat, but parents are skipping meals, using food banks where they can and still wondering how to pay for other essentials.

And then there are the insecurities that inhabit our heads, who ever we are – and which are killers in their own insidious ways. Popular magazines like Hello run stories on what is worrying the celebs, along with the fairytale weddings, who is losing and gaining weight and news of the Royal Family.

Even the most attractive Hollywood stars have insecurities. Justin Bieber, spoke openly to TODAY’s Matt Lauer before one of his performances saying I’m 18 and have a lot of insecurities. At the end of the day, me being in my position doesn’t get rid of those insecurities.”

It’s not surprising, therefore, that ordinary folk experience insecurities. A recent survey by Salford Business School for the charity Anxiety UK found that social networking sites such as Facebook and Twitter feed anxiety and make people feel inadequate. Off-hand comments by a boss or even a parent can sap self-confidence, while verbal abuse from a partner is particularly destructive.

What makes the resulting sense of insecurity such a killer is that the self-doubt it causes stops people from doing so many of the things they’d be good at. It prevents them from applying for their dream job or pursuing interesting opportunities, enjoying their lives, and bringing joy to others.

Have no doubt. These insecurities can have very long lasting, life-restricting effects because they are so hard to shift.

It’s necessary to nurture and support the flame of self belief that we all have somewhere within us. And when we are struggling through a difficult patch and that flame is heading for its last flicker, it makes sense to seek help.

Your choice may be a trusted friend – not the ones who post hurtful comments on social networking sites – but you could also consider someone who is trained in giving such help, like a counsellor, your GP or even a pastor.  Such people are committed to helping you deal with your insecurities and be the best you can be.  Isn’t that better than struggling with that deceptive killer, self-doubt?

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