He beat me for one hour and broke my jaw
Sophia Grinnion’s childhood nightmare

Sophia Grinnion was 18 years old when she gave birth. But she was determined to give her son a childhood that he could look back on with happy memories. This is because Sophia’s own upbringing was painful, depressing and almost lethal. She suffered in a way that nobody - young or old - should ever have to suffer.

“Life was horrible as a child. I can’t remember any happy times. My parents argued over me a lot. Mum would stick up for me whereas Dad would punish me for the tiniest things.”

The punishment that Sophia speaks about isn’t your average telling-off or grounding. No, Sophia was beaten up by her father with whatever he could grab at that moment... and she was beaten often. She grew afraid, not knowing what would happen at night or in the morning.

“When I was about 7 years old, I lost my shoe at school. Dad went mad and beat me with a plank of wood. I remember not being able to sit down for that whole evening. I couldn’t understand why I was always beaten. I never blamed Dad - I thought he was the best and that it was me who just kept on getting things wrong. A week never passed without me getting hit for something.”

Sophia’s mum couldn’t cope with the abuse and so she separated from Sophia’s dad. When Sophia reached 12 years old it was decided that she would live with her father who was better off financially. As Sophia got older the beatings got worse.

The worst beating

“My worst beating was when I was 15. I came home from school late. He beat me for about one hour, kicking my stomach, and my head, breaking my jaw. I really thought I was going to die. I remember that I kept on dialling 999 and telling them that he’s going to kill me. The police traced my number and came with an ambulance. I ended up in hospital and my dad was cautioned.”

After that incident, Sophia was taken into care for one year before being sent back to live with her father at the age of 16. “I was very careful, trying not to do anything wrong but after 6 months it started again. My mistake was answering back.

“A support worker at school noticed the bruise on my face and reported it to Social Services who put me in a Bed and Breakfast. I felt physically sick when I saw my dad and even suggested to somebody that they should kill him.”

Sophia moved from hostel to hostel but she continued studying and managed to get a diploma in performing arts. She also started dating and things seemed to be looking up. Her boyfriend treated her well. He was a drug dealer but looked after her. She didn’t want to lose that love and so would do anything he asked - she even became a carrier of the deadly crack cocaine for him. Then she got pregnant and felt as though her life had ended.

Hormones to blame?

Sophia felt alone and sank into depression. She even had thoughts of killing the unborn baby. She would lock herself in her room, turn on music and start banging her head against the wall. There were times when she would hold a knife to her chest and wonder where to stab herself in order to bleed to death quickly.

Sophia’s key worker heard her shouting out that she would kill ‘it’ and herself. She went into Sophia’s room and then called a doctor to examine her. Sophia was given some anti-depressants and told that her hormones were causing the outbursts. But later on the doctor referred Sophia to a psychiatric hospital.

“I refused to go to that hospital. I knew that I wasn’t mad.”

Sophia eventually moved to a hostel for pregnant women. At first her boyfriend was excited about the baby but then he started giving excuses whenever she would call him. She later found out that he was cheating on her.

Sophia was at her lowest. She had no mother or father to turn to; her relationship was over and she didn’t want her baby. She felt neglected and believed that she should never have been born.

“I was alone in a relative’s house one day and decided that I would jump off the balcony to end my life. I was sure that nobody would miss me - except for my mum who knew about the abuse I suffered.”

Sophia started scrolling through her mobile phone to see if she would come across any names of people that might miss her. She got to the name Margaret and stopped because she couldn’t remember who Margaret was.

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