I beat my mum and felt no shame
Nadine’s journey from tearaway teen to teacher’s assistant

Nadine Moodie was a happy child. She had a mother that looked after her really well and had everything she needed. But then it was time for her to go to secondary school and that’s when the relationship with her mother broke down.

“My older cousins asked mum if they could take me out. They were 16 and I was just 11 but because I was so friendly, they really liked my company. So instead of hanging around with people my age, I would hang around with teenagers and then started acting like them. I always wanted to be the centre of attention.

“I started coming home really late and when my mum complained, instead of respecting her, I would talk back and swear at her. I didn’t pull my weight around the house and would bring boyfriends home and have them sleep over.”

As time went on, Nadine’s behaviour went from bad to worse. “It got to the stage where I would have physical fights with my mum - cat fights where we used to scratch, kick and punch each other. When the fights were at their worst, we would threaten each other with knives and even the iron. I was about 13 and this went on for 3 years.”

Nadine’s mother became a wreck. She would often cry and because she had other problems too, started to drink heavily and even had to stop going to work. “I knew there was something seriously wrong with Nadine,” said her mother Susan. She’d changed so much. I had never believed in evil spirits before, until I saw the way she changed and the problems I went through with her.”

Bullying

Nadine was not only having problems at home however. Because of her attention-seeking behaviour, she unfortunately attracted the wrong sort of attention at school and started to be severely bullied.

“People had it in for me,” she said. “There was a time that I was beaten so badly that I ended up in hospital. My cousins and friends would try to help with fighting back but this made things worse. It was never-ending.

“Although I was surrounded by friends, I still felt alone and didn’t really feel that I could talk to anyone. I didn’t value myself anymore and started cutting myself with knives on my arms and thighs. I thought I was ugly and stupid. On top of it all, I also started smoking and sniffing nail polish remover and became really addicted. I would sniff the liquid for one hour straight, several times a day, every day.

“One day, whilst staying with my father for the week, fed up and scared of the bullying I overdosed on paracetemol and vodka. I just wanted to die.

I was rushed to hospital in severe agony and was kept there for a few days.

“Even after the suicide attempt, my behaviour didn’t change. By now, my mum had had enough and ordered me to leave the house so I had to stay with a family friend.”

New mum, new me

Whilst apart, Nadine and her mother spoke on the telephone occasionally and Nadine noticed something was not quite the same. “She seemed calmer. I told her that I needed to come home for a few weeks - the family friend was going on holiday and didn’t want me to stay alone in the house with her husband - and my mum actually agreed. I was shocked. When I moved back in, I noticed how different she was. My room was clean, she’d run me baths, cook me meals and she would be so nice with me, patient, and didn’t pressure me about anything. Sometimes, she’d ask if I wanted to go to church with her. She used to speak about the Friday services at the UCKG and because she was so different, eventually, I said ok.

“The first day I went, the service made such an impression on me. The pastor was saying that some problems that happen in life, e.g. suicidal thoughts, family problems etc. are not normal. This really opened my eyes and I realised that my behaviour was not normal and that this was not the life God had for me. My pride went and I felt light after someone prayed for me. After the service, I spoke to an assistant and she fed me some positive words and encouraged me to continue coming. I wanted the life she was speaking about.”

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