My addiction from hell

Smoking weed made me feel something I was unable to find in my everyday life but, when the effect wore off, things were dark and grim.

My addiction got so bad that I couldn’t even recognise myself. I lost the respect of my family, my marriage was falling apart and my dependence on drugs was getting worse. I couldn’t understand why I was doing the things I did. I was having affairs and was lying to get out of the house to see other women. I couldn’t sit down and maintain a proper conversation with my wife without getting angry.

Though I was conscious of the damage the marijuana was doing to me and my family, no matter what I tried, I was unable to stop smoking it. I became an angry person, I felt guilty about my affairs but also because I was frustrated. I knew that what I was doing was wrong but felt powerless to quit.

I soon got myself locked up for three years in a twelve by ten prison cell. For some, it’s a terrible thing but for me time in prison was the moment where everything began to change. I believe that was the best thing that could have ever happened to me, because when I went inside, for the first time I saw the reality of what I was doing. My wake-up call came after I went for a routine check up in prison which revealed that I was sick.

I didn’t know I was at death’s door! My blood pressure was at 216 over 119 (a normal person’s blood pressure is 140 over 80) and they told me that I was at a critical stage and that my kidneys could fail at any time. I asked them what I had to do and they said I had to give up smoking and drinking - I had to change.

That’s when reality struck. I had to change everything and the first thing I did was to go to the prison chapel. Someone saw that I was trying to change and offered me a UCKG leaflet. He said he was writing to the UCKG and was receiving guidance and FiA magazines for his problem. He told me to write to them too so I did.

I wrote to a member of the Rescue of Dignity (ROD) Group at the UCKG in Croydon. Within days I received a reply. That’s what encouraged me in a way because here was someone that I didn’t know, I wrote to her and I told her my problems and she wrote back to me quite sincerely and encouraged me that I don’t have to be this way. She said that I can change if I only believe that change is possible.

Next>