Overcoming 6 years of marriage hell

Before, Mark used to drink, go out with his friends then come back home. But gradually the going out and drinking got worse. We would have arguments and he was never at home. I don’t know exactly how much he would drink but it was enough to knock him out - especially at the weekends.

He would also vomit many times when he came home from a drinking session. One night he went and vomited all over the bed we slept in and was not apologetic. He just left me to clean up the mess. In that moment I became very angry but did not know what to do.

He would be very aggressive... shout and swear a lot in the house and say derogatory words to make me feel bad about myself. It got to the point that my oldest son said, 'Mum, dad is going to die.’

Every year it was getting worse, especially when I started coming to church. Though he was never at home he would complain about me going to church and always taking the children out.

As I heard about the Campaign of Israel, I realised that because I was so worried about my family, most of my reactions towards Mark were emotional reactions and not actions of faith. Sacrificing my all included changing several of my own attitudes and actions.

Prior to the campaign I’d been receiving counselling and was advised to look at myself to see if there is anything that I need to change, to be a better wife. Before, I would get upset when didn’t arrive at home on time. Also when he didn’t come to church I would get upset. When he got angry, I wouldn’t talk to him. So I said, ‘OK, I will change in this way’. When this campaign came I found it an opportunity for me to change within and to do differently, because I wanted to see a change in him. I started to be an example to him by not reacting whenever we got into arguments. He was very happy when he saw the changes in me and starting attending the services regularly.

After that Campaign of Israel I really saw a change in my husband. He was now very attentive to meetings as well. I also saw that he consciously didn’t want anything to do with drink anymore; people would offer it to him but he would say no. And, he got baptised.

We’ve been married now for 13 years and from the drinking problems, he’s been free now for 9 years and everything has been wonderful.

We are now living the happy lifestyle that I’d always dreamed of.

Carol Odukoya,
Finsbury Park

Life can be different if you take charge and decide to make things different. Speak to a spiritual counsellor at your local UCKG or call the 24 hour helpline on 020 7686 6000 now to help you get started.